the true spirit of Christmas

Years back Diedra and I started what became a Spencer family tradition: giving gag gifts for Christmas. Except that the recipient didn't know they were gag gifts, which made it even better. Let me explain:

Years back when my little brother Garrett was only 11 or 12, Diedra and I decided it would be funny to tease him about giving him a really terrible Christmas gift, like an education computer game. Since he is one to (a) always tag along and ease drop, (b) act like he is not trying tag along, and (c) get really upset when we tease him, it was the perfect plan. All we had to do was talk in slightly louder than normal voices about his "present" and he was hooked. We had created an education math game called Mr. Math, which was also on clearance (which only made him more upset). It was hilarious. We didn't even have to try that hard, he fell right for the bait.

Once our trick was stuck, we then thought it would be even more hilarious to keep him thinking he got the crappiest Christmas gift ever, so instead of wrapping up a gift, we made him go on a treasure hunt around the house. By the time he got through all the clues, he was so bummed about actually finding an education math game, that he didn't even want to open his gift (which turned out to be a toad). Garrett was thrilled about the awesome pet and pretty upset that he fell for the joke. And the Christmas gag gift was born.

So the next year our family decided to pick names among the siblings. When I got my name and started brainstorming options, immediately I thought "what is the worst possible present?" After mulling over some pretty bad gifts, I realized that the worst possible present is having someone donate yours to charity on your behalf. Enter gag gift #2.

So instead of my sister Rixa and her husband Eric opening a gift on Christmas, then got a very fancy envelope. Inside was a letter from the president of an fake organization I made up thanking them for their generous donation. It also included pictures, a certificate of the donation in their name, and a company seal. The whole family was tricked. My mom even commented on how thoughtful the gift was. Eric was a little miffed about the gift, but of course couldn't say anything. I giggled to my self for several hours until I finally broke the news that the entire gift certificate was fake and I had a real present for them.

After that, gag gifts were a must. I couldn't believe that I had fooled the entire family with a little fancy word document and card stock. Diedra also got in on the gag gifts for the next couple of years. Below is a list of the various gifts we have given:

1. Chaste and Be Chased. A Mormon book on dating and being chaste. I gave this to my little brother Garrett one Christmas. It was a real book, but I made a fake dust jacket. My mother actually loved it (she is a big fan of giving chastity talks), and Garrett had this horrified look when he opened it. The best part was the accompanying CD of chaste songs sung by the MoTab.

2. Fake IDs. I gave Diedra the idea to make people in our family fake IDs with a little color printing and laminating. My dad got one for being a President Bush look-a-like and Garrett got one that listed his age as 21 and also included facial hair, issued by the State of Insanity.

3. Certificates of servitude. You know the "coupons" you give your parents when you are little for things like hugs and helping with the dishes? Well we made long, detailed, and extravagant certificates to each member of the family on behalf of Garrett and forged his signature. The best part was having each family member read theirs all while Garrett is in the background protesting that he did not write it or sign it and it is not valid. We promised away most of Garrett's savings, free time, and allowance. It was priceless.